New Kid In town
by bookwtchery
Summary: There's a new rider in town, and she's caught Brodi's eye. But will there be trouble? Is Brodi ready for a relationship?
1. Chapter 1

Anya pulled off her hat and goggles as she made her way into the lodge. She paused a moment in the doorway, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the indoor light. She wanted to make sure the path was clear to the stairwell. The newest rider in the circuit, Anya had no desire to socialize with any of the other riders.

"Hey, Little Red! Awesome jumps out there!"

Anya cringed. Especially that one. She had heard rumors of a possibly psychotic member of the team, but she hadn't believed it until she'd laid eyes on Psymon. Still, she smiled and waved in his general direction. Just because she didn't want friends didn't mean she needed to alienate everyone.

She had shaken all the snow out of her hair, silently cursing the damp red curls in their unruly fuzzy state. She had almost made it to the stairs when she saw Elise stalking in her direction. Great. She hadn't wanted to deal with anyone, and in the space of two minutes she'd run into two veterans.

"In case you're wondering, Princess," the blonde Amazon began as she stopped in front of her, "If Sketchy thinks your jumps were cool, then it means you took far too many risks out there. Watch yourself, kid, or there'll be a new definition to "become one with the mountain."

The tall blonde didn't wait for a reply and walked off. Not that Anya would have been able to think of a good comeback. Well, maybe sometime tomorrow after it didn't matter anymore. She sighed and started up the stairs.

"Don't let them bother you."

Anya looked around to see who had spoken to her this time. The only person she saw was the blond surfer, lounging by the fireplace reading. She didn't even think he had noticed her, then he spoke again.

"They're not so bad once you get to know them."

"If you say so."

"You're welcome to sit by the fire and warm up."

Anya looked at the fire…it did look good. But, no….

"Thanks, but I don't want to disturb…"

"I'm just reading, babe. No worries."

That fire DID look good…and it didn't hurt that there was some eye candy sitting in front of the fire. She had chilled herself to the bone…

Against her better judgement, she found herself walking towards the fireplace. As she rounded the couch, the tall blonde swung his legs of and onto the floor. She sat down cautiously on the far end of the couch and folded her arms around herself. He laughed and she looked up sharply, but the laughter was kind and warm, not mocking.

"I don't bite, hon. Well, not under most circumstances."

She smirked at the old joke. "It's not that. Just didn't realize how cold I was until I got close to the fire."

He nodded and put out his hand. "Brodi Ford."

"Yeah, I recognized you. You're good…saw most of your runs last season. Oh, I'm Anya Burgess." She reached out to shake his hand, but he turned his wrist slightly and kissed her hand.

"Very pleased to meet you, Anya Burgess."

He released her hand when she stiffened. Embarrassed by her reaction, she tried to cover the slight with random conversation.

"So, uhm…what are you reading?"

He smiled and looked down at the forgotten book in his hand. "Thich Nhat Hanh."

Anya blinked. "The Vietnamese monk?"

"You've read him?"

"No. I did meet him once. Well, not exactly meet him. Rather, sat in a lecture hall with hundreds of other students and heard him speak."

"Cool."

He did, indeed, look impressed. And impressive, too, she thought. It was his eyes that got to her. So blue, so kind, so…Anya cursed herself as she became aware of the awkward silence Damn it, why didn't she just go on up to her room?

"It was nice. Uhm, are you in the race tomorrow?"

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she shouldn't have spoken. She smacked herself in the head. "God, I'm sorry! I forgot you were hurt a few weeks ago."

He smiled warmly. If he had taken any offense, it certainly didn't show in his face. "It's OK. Yeah, I haven't been given the go-ahead yet, but I'm building up to it."

He rested a hand on her shoulder and she froze.

"I need to go to my room and get a shower in." She stood up abruptly. "Thanks for the convo."

"Anya, it's OK. Really."

"No, I'm tired. Shower and bed for me—early start tomorrow."

The look in his eyes – oh, those eyes – told her he didn't believe her. Still, he didn't try to stop her.

"Just promise me one thing."

She stopped, but didn't turn around. She couldn't look at those eyes again—not without melting and reaching out to him for help. Still, she stopped. "Yes?"

"Promise me I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure"

"No. Promise me."

Damn it. He knew. How did he knew?

"OK. I promise you will see me tomorrow. I'll come find you."

Anya ran up the stairs before he could say anything else. If she started to cry, he'd never let her leave. Word was the boy had a bit of a white knight in him.

Brodi watched the pretty redhead run up the stairs to her room and fought the urge to go after her. He didn't want to frighten her. There was a pain resonating at her core. He hated seeing someone in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

He hoped she would keep her promise. He thought she would. Still, he was concerned. Elise had told him of her actions on the slopes.

"It's like watching Psymon board, " Elise had said, "Only we KNOW Psymon is unhinged. You'd think she was trying to hurt herself."

Brodi didn't think it was jealousy. Elise had sounded concerned. At least, as concerned as she ever let herself sound.

"It's called fire, man. Helps keep us warm, useful for cooking…"

Brodi looked up at the usual blinding 70's nightmare ensemble. "Oh, hi, Eddie. How are ya?"

Eddie plopped himself down on the couch and leaned back. "How are YOU, dude? You've been staring at that fire for, like, ever. You feelin' alright?"

"I'm fine, dude. Just thinking."

"Uh-huh. You crushin' on that new girl? I saw you chattin' her up."

Brodi glared. "I was not "chatting her up"." He turned back to the fire. "She needs a friend."

Eddie let out a low whistle.

"What?"

"Are you a baggage magnet, dude, or what?"

Brodi sighed. "Eddie, everyone's got baggage and things they need to work on. Me, for instance? Right now I'm reminding myself of my adherence to nonviolence."

Eddie threw his hands up. "OK, OK. I give." Eddie stood up to go, and he rested a hand on Brodi's shoulder as he rounded the back of the couch. "Just do me a favor, my man, and remember one thing."

Brodi closed his eyes and waited for the comment he knew was coming.

"What's that, Eddie?"

"You can't save everyone, dude. And Elise, Zoe, and I don't like picking up the pieces when you try."

Eddie left before Brodi could answer. Brodi just sat back and fingered his mala beads, trying to calm his mind.

Anya looked at her prescription bottle of sleeping pills and sighed. Why did she go and promise? And why did promises matter so much to her anyway? And how in the hell did he knew?

"Girl, you have officially lost it."

The surfer boy was just being nice. He was nice to everyone. It was his nature. Still, she had promised him she would come find him. She would make it through this night, go find him tomorrow as promised. The bottles would still be waiting here tomorrow night when she embarrassed herself to find out for sure that he was just being nice.

Anya turned the shower on—just the hot—and sank under it sobbing. Once she had cried out every last ounce of energy, she scrubbed herself with the bath brush until her skin was raw. Finally, when the water started losing its heat, she turned off the water and got out.

Drying herself off, she dressed in her favorite flannel PJ's and grabbed a diet coke from the mini fridge. She looked at her prescriptions lined up on the dresser. Zoloft, Ativan, Ambien..

"Pathetic." She thought as she grabbed the bottle of Ambien. She would only take one…it was a safety when she got like this. She would take just the one, and would sleep through the night and hopefully see things differently in the morning light.

Not that she'd been able to sleep without it for the last three years anyway. Ever since IT had happened. She couldn't fall asleep, and then when she did it was like living it all over again in her nightmares.

So, she swallowed her salvation, set her alarm clock, and checked the door lock about fifteen times before she settled in. The beauty of Ambien—if you lay down and close your eyes, you were waking up before you knew it.

Brodi paused at the top of the stairs and frowned at himself. Getting winded walking up 20 steps was not something that happened to him. Well, at least BEFORE.

"To suffer is to grow" he told himself. Yeah right, he thought back. How much growing did he have to do?

"Accept it, Brodi. Embrace it."

He knew he should consider himself lucky. He'd never really had a serious injury until a few weeks ago, and even then he didn't die when he knew he could have. The entire experience had been a lesson in humility. For at least a week after he woke up, he had to rely on others to feed him, bathe him; he could do almost nothing by himself. He had been attached to a chest tube, an IV line, and oxygen, so his own movements were extremely limited. His mind was left foggy by the drugs he was being fed, and then he had to fight off the depression they'd brought on. That is, when he had been awake enough to know what he was feeling.

And, here he was, weeks later, still getting winded from simple walks. Of course, it probably hadn't helped that he'd come down with pneumonia two weeks ago.

"Come on, Brodi, get yourself together," he chided himself and started making his way towards his room.

He found himself slowing in front of Anya's room. Was she OK? He silently said a prayer and decided he was going to take her to breakfast. No, maybe not. He remembered the way she had stiffened when he touched her shoulder. He needed to let her come to him. No need to force his company on her and frighten her. If he was going to be her friend, it had to be her choice.

Eeddie's words came to mind. You can't save everyone. True enough. But this wasn't about saving anyone. This was about being a friend to someone in need.

Wasn't it?

Brodi went inside his room and lit some incense before hopping in the shower. He turned the entire shower into a meditation, but it did little good. Where his body was still weak from his injuries and illness, his mind was restless. His hand absently found the healingscar on his side, still angry, red, and sore. His arms still bore the scars of the IV he had been attached to as well as enough puncture sites from countless blood tests to make him look like a junkie.

"Breathe, Brodi. Just breathe."

A few more minutes of that was about all he could stand, so he shut off the water and dried himself off. Slipping into a pair of sweatpants, he headed out to his bedroom expecting to collapse onto his bed and soothe himself into a sleep.

"Hmmm. Eddie was right. You do look like hell."

He was mildly startled to find Elise sitting on his bed thumbing through a copy of Shambala Sun.

"Elise! Don't think I'm not happy to see you—but what are you doing here, babe?"

Elise shrugged. "You never lock your door."

"And?"

"And you need to come over here and lay down before you fall over. When was the last time you ate? You weren't in the café for dinner, but I did see Eddie."

Ah, so that was it.

"When are you guys going to stop babysitting me?"

"When you stop looking like death warmed over. Now get your butt over here and lay down. I'm not here to jump your bones. I'm here to take care of you. Now here, on your stomach. Now."

Brodi sighed and stretched out on his bed. Elise poured some almond oil on his back and began gently rubbing it in.

"Let me know if I hurt you. I'll stay away from your ribs and your incision."

"Mmm-hmmm."

She finished his back and started working on his right arm. She worked all the way down to his hand, then kissed his hand before moving to the other side.

Brodi opened his eyes. "Any more of that and I'm not exactly going to be going to sleep."

Elise grinned mischeviously. "Fair enough. I told you I'm not here for that, so it's not really fair of me."

Brodi smiled. "It's OK. Whatever happens, happens."

Elise returned her attention to his left arm. "I don't know that you're quite ready for that yet, honey."

Brodi opened his eyes again as she fell silent.

"What are you thinking, hon?"

When she didn't answer, he rolled partially onto his side, letting her keep her grip on his arm. Her thumb was gently circling a particularly bruised area.

"Elise?"

"Hmmm?"  
Brodi sighed and caught hold of her hand. "Sweetie, I thought the idea was for me to go to sleep."

"Oh. Sorry, babe."

"You OK?"

"Me? Fine. I'm just glad you're still here."

He feel onto his back and put a hand out to her. "Me too, babe. Me too."

Elise leaned over him to switch off the bedside lamp. As he felt the weight of her head settle onto his shoulder, he finally felt calm enough to drift off.


	2. Chapter 2

Elise spent most of the night in Brodi's arms. When she was satisfied that he was going to sleep through the night, she eased herself up off the bed and out the door.

She looked at her watch and was glad that she didn't have a race in the morning. At 3am, she was so tired she had actually considered spending the night in Brodi's room. Two things stopped her. Firstly, there wouldn't have been any sleep, and not because of anything interesting. She kept finding herself checking his breathing pattern, even though she knew he was well past the healing point where that needed to be watched. Secondly, she really did not want anyone seeing her coming out of his room. Least of all Anya.

Not that she was concerned about competition for the surfer's attention. She was confident about where she stood with the man. It was just that Anya seemed…unstable seemed too harsh a word. And when Eddie had seen her talking to Brodi…

She had come to Brodi's room to confront him about his white knight syndrome. She was all ready for the argument, but when she saw how he looked, she had decided to just work on getting him to sleep. He really looked like he had been to hell and back.

Maybe Brodi wasn't the only one with white knight syndrome.


	3. Chapter 3

Anya wouldn't say that she was in a better mood when she woke up, but she did at least feel rested. She blinked her eyes and stretched so hard one of her legs started to cramp.

"OW!"

She shot up in bed, cursing as she grabbed her leg and rubbed the kink out.

"Well, that's ONE way to wake up." she thought as she limped to the shower.

Later, showered and dressed, she pulled her hair back into a tangled, untamed ponytail. She grabbed a diet coke from the minifridge and popped her daily allotment of sanity, then she headed out the door. As she opened the door, she was startled to see a note taped right at eye level. With shaking hands she took the note down then slammed her door shut and locked it. Sitting on her bed with tears in her eyes, she looked at the envelope carefully. She was relieved to see that she didn't recognize the handwriting.

Still, she held her breath as she opened it and removed the piece of paper inside. It was a single piece of unlined paper folded in half. Unfolding it gingerly as if it might disintigrate, she finally gathered the courage to read it.

"Anya,

I enjoyed our talk yesterday. Please don't forget your promise.

Come have breakfast in the café with me if you like.

Your new friend,

Brodi"

Anya smiled, then laughed with relief. Of COURSE the note was from someone here. She was actually so relieved she felt up to having breakfast and conversation with someone. Uplifted by the happy turn of events, she made her way to the café. She walked in with a hopeful look, but was at first worried that she missed him or that he had changed his mind. Then, while at the counter grabbing her coffee, she saw him sitting alone in the very back of the café, reading quietly.

She walked hesitantly towards his table, and he looked up when she was about halfway across and smiled at her so warmly she had to smile back.

"Anya!" he called out, rising to meet her. She hurried across the floor to the table and he pulled out a chair for her.

"'Morning. Thanks for the invite. Sleep well?"

"I was worried my note had gotten lost. Yes, I did sleep well. You?"

"Courtesy of Ambien, yeah."

He nodded. Just like yesterday, if he felt any type of judgement, it was not to be read in his eyes or his facial expression.

"Sorry you have trouble sleeping. That always bites."

She raised an eyebrow. "The ZenMaster has done battle with insomnia?"

He laughed that warm, infectious laugh of his.

"An interesting way to put it, but yes." He set his tea cup down. "While I was in the hospital, I was on such heavy drugs that I slept nearly all the time. When I was weaned off of them, my body had to find its own rhythm again."

Anya nodded. "That must have been a horrible experience for you. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

He smiled. "Probably worse for my friends than it was for me. I was mostly unconscious and I don't remember much of the time when I was awake. Usually what we imagine is worse than actual experience."

Anya actually gripped the table so hard at that statement that he leaned forward and rested his hand on top of hers.

"Anya?"

She made no response; her mind just seemed to blank out at that statement. She didn't realize tears had started to fall until she noticed that Brodi had moved from across the table to the chair next to her, and was gently dabbing at her tears with a napkin.

"Anya? Come on, babe. Talk to me."

"I…I can't right now. I really should go. I've got runs later today."

"Anya, please." Brodi rested a hand on her forearm. "Don't run away again. I can tell you're hurting. I have a good ear. Let me help."

She smiled, blinking away her tears, suddenly embarrassed.

"Brodi, you're very sweet, and I am honored that you have been so kind, but…"

Brodi stood up in front of her. "No buts. I'm offering a listening ear, but I'm also offering friendship, no conditions. I'm reaching out my hand," he said as he extended his hand, "All you have to do is take it."


	4. Chapter 4

Brodi silently let out a sigh of relief as the young woman reached out and took his hand. Something he had said had touched a nerve, and she looked ready to bolt. And if he was right in his thinking, if he didn't get through to her now, there wasn't going to be another chance.

"All right. I have no idea why I trust you when I just met you yesterday, but I do trust you. And you might regret that after this, but follow me."

They left the café and went down the hall and up the stairs. Brodi was ashamed to admit to himself that he had trouble keeping up with her, but he still got winded easily and she was walking fairly quickly. She seemed to notice about halfway up the stairs and slowed down for him.

She stopped in front of her room and fumbled for her keycard. She slid it through the lock and opened the door, motioning for him to go first. He entered the room, and she followed, shutting the door behind her.

"I want you to know that just standing in an enclosed room with a man is a big step for me. I say that up front so you'll know how important it is. Uhm, we should sit—probably better for you anyway."

Brodi nodded gratefully and purposefully chose the chair by the window. He had a feeling that if he planted himself between her and the door she was going to panic.

She sat at her desk, turning the chair to face him. She leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees, wringing her trembling hands.

"I don't know where to start."

Brodi folded his legs up underneath him and leaned forward. "Just take a deep breath and let it come to you. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

Anya took a deep breath.  
"I guess the best way is to just put it out there as is. Three years ago a man broke into my apartment and raped me for the next four hours. I, uhm, know it was four hours because he broke in just after 2am, and left just before my boyfriend got home from work."

Brodi closed his eyes. This was not going to be easy to hear.

"Turned out the guy was a friend of my boyfriend's, and I had been bargained off to him for the night as payment for a lost $50 bet."

Brodi forced his breathing to remain even and calm, though his fists were clenched in anger. He reminded himself that he was here to listen, to bear witness, not to react.

"$50! Someone I loved and trusted sold the use of my body for a $50 debt. That's all I was worth to him." Anya choked back a sob, then brushed her hair out of her eyes. She then folded her arms around herself and leaned forward. "I, uhm, I…I wasn't worth even that, apparently. The guy game and demanded his money, saying I was a lousy lay and fought too much, had no idea what to do with a man. This is how I found out. I, I…."

She started wringing her hands again, opening her eyes only when Brodi took her hands in his.  
"I'm listening," he said gently.

************


	5. Chapter 5

Anya didn't realize she had been wringing her hands until she felt Brodi's gentle touch on her hands. When she opened her eyes, she found he had knelt in front of her and was looking at her with a deep sorrow in those eyes that gave her chills.

She laid a hand on the side of his face and with one soft motion of her thumb wiped away a tear forming in his eyes. He caught her hand and kissed her palm before she pulled her hand back.  
"Go on, babe. I'm listening."  
"This is a bad idea."

Brodi sighed. "I'm not here to lecture or judge. I'm here to listen and to be a friend. But I'm not going to hit you over the head with it."

A tear fell from her eyes as she hugged herself and rocked back and forth. "How did you know?" she whispered.

Brodi sat back and tilted his head slightly. God, those eyes were going to kill her.  
"Well," he began, "how did you know you could trust me? What does your heart tell you that lets you know I'm safe, that I'm not going to hurt you?"

The question made her stop, and she looked at him in surprise. "Uhm. Well, now that you mention it…."

"We all get these gut feelings. Problem is, most of us learn to ignore them. Me? I tend to get into trouble if I don't listen to them."

When she looked puzzled, he stated simply, "I know the look, babe, because I've worn it."

Something made her sit on the floor beside him and lean her head on his shoulder. "I haven't been able to sleep since that night. I keep an active prescription of sleeping pills. I've been on four different antidepressants, and three different antianxiety meds. I'm in and out of therapy. I feel like such a loser. Some nights," she paused to wipe more tears from her eyes, "some nights, if I've managed to make it through the day without breaking my neck on the slopes, I bargain with myself. I take just one sleeping pill. Just one. I get safely through the night, and pretend my way through another day."

She swallowed hard and Brodi squeezed her hand. "Yesterday was going to be it. I'd had it, it was over. I just didn't count on one thing."

She felt Brodi kiss the top of her head. "What was that, babe?" he whispered.

"You."  
He shifted and put an arm around her. "Well, start counting, babe." He said quietly. "Start counting."

Brodi looked down at the woman sleeping in his arms. He had an urge to pick her up and put her on the bed, but he was afraid to wake her up. So, he made himself as comfortable as he could on the floor, leaning up against the bed and letting her settle down onto his lap.

He looked at the pretty redhead in his lap and brushed a few curls out of her eyes. She was sleeping fitfully, but at least she was sleeping. He had a feeling that even the Ambien didn't protect her from the nightmares. He knew it hadn't helped him. He slept, all night, and usually wouldn't remember any dreams, but he could always tell by the tension in his body when he awoke if he'd had a nightmare.

As if in response to his thoughts, Anya shifted on his lap and moaned painfully. Gently he rested a hand on the top of her head.  
"Shhhhh. You're OK."  
Anya opened her eyes at the sound of his voice and gasped, jerking herself up and away from him.  
"Anya! It's OK, hon. You're OK. It's just me. Take a deep breath—that's good. Look at me."  
"Brodi? What…"  
"You fell asleep. I didn't want to risk waking you or scaring you by picking you up to put you on the bed."  
"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"  
"Anya, it's OK. Really." He fell silent momentarily as he held her hand in his. "I was glad that you felt safe enough with me to fall asleep, even if only for a short bit."

Anya stood and moved back to the bed, patting the bedside indicating he could sit beside her. He did, resting his hand along the side of her face, relieved when she leaned into it instead of pulling away.  
Anya closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled at him tentatively.  
"You know you have a reputation, don't you?"  
Brodi laughed. "Almost everyone does. But I'm almost afraid to ask."  
"You have a bad case of white knight syndrome. I'm sure your friends worry about you being taken advantage of."  
"Ah, I see." Brodi cocked his head to one side and looked at her softly. "And what do you think?"  
"I think you're intelligent enough to know when you need to pull back. I also know that I wouldn't intentionally take advantage of you, so I don't feel like I pose any danger to you."

Brodi smiled his warmest smile and touched her cheek with the back of his fingertips. "Not worried. I have a gut feeling you're stronger than you think you are. And I've already told you how I am about my gut feelings."

She smiled hesitantly. "I hope you're right." Then, after a moment of silence, "so, my white knight, what happens now? You've seen me melt down, you know I have baggage."  
"Everyone has baggage, babe."  
"And you know now that I am damaged goods."  
Brodi stood suddenly but regretted it when Anya winced. He took a deep breath and knelt in front of her. He took her hands and held them gently in his.  
"Anya, look at me."  
When there was no response from her, he took one hand and gently tilted her chin so that she was facing him.  
"Look at me, sweetheart." He reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek as he spoke. "You are not damaged goods. Do you hear me? You. Are. NOT. Damaged. Goods. Someone did something horrible to you. You've done what you had to do to survive. And you HAVE survived. It may not feel like it at times. But you survived. And you're here. You did NOT deserve to be raped. And you did not deserve to be blamed for it, or to be treated like you were property. No one deserves that."

Brodi stood again and sat himself back on the bed.  
"Now, as to what happens next. That depends on you. I'm offering my friendship, and that hasn't changed. I don't put conditions on my friendship or love. Can you trust me enough for that?"  
Anya nodded her head meekly. "You haven't stormed out of here in disgust, so yeah, I think I can."  
Again he lifted her chin to face him. "There is no reason for me to. And if you can trust me, you can believe me. Am I right?"  
Again, she nodded.  
Brodi sighed, not wanting to get into this next part of the conversation.  
"Anya, I'm going to ask you something. Please don't get upset. Are you in any danger? From yourself, or anyone else?"

Anya stiffened at the question, and for a moment Brodi thought he might be kicked out of her room. But she only let out a sigh and looked at him sorrowfully.  
"Well, love, since I've already admitted to medicating myself to prevent rash decisions, I can't exactly say no to the first part of your question."  
Brodi nodded.  
"But you know that somehow or you wouldn't have made me promise to meet you today."  
"And the second part of my question?"  
Anya looked down.  
"Anya?"  
"Honestly, I don't know. I never pressed charges—and please don't lecture me about that. He finds me every once in a while—my ex, that is—leaves me a couple of taunting messages, then disappears again."

Brodi's eyes went wide. "Anya, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have…"  
She held her hand up. "No, it's OK. You couldn't have known. Nothing wrong with leaving a note on someone's door. Well, unless you're a psychotic idiot."  
Brodi nodded again. "Has he left you any notes here? Or have you seen him?"  
Anya smiled grimly. "I always think I see him. Always looking over my shoulder, so to speak."  
Brodi nodded and sighed.  
"A horrible feeling."  
Anya frowned. "So how long ago was it?"  
"How long ago was what?"  
Anya squeezed his hand. "Your assault…"  
"Oh…."  
"You're not the only person who can read people, love. And don't make me pull the 'I showed you mine, you show me yours' card."

**********

For a moment Anya was afraid she had pushed Brodi too hard. She had asked a very personal question about a very painful event in his life, and had just insisted on an answer. In a way, she felt she had a right to know—she had bared her soul for him and felt she should be awarded the same level of trust. But, on a deeper level, she knew she had trusted him willingly and needed to afford him the same chance. He offered friendship without conditions—she couldn't place conditions on him.

As the silence lengthened into an uncomfortable stretch, she relented and placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Brodi, I'm sorry," she began tentatively. When he kept staring at the floor, she continued. "I had no right to say something like that, and it wasn't meant to be hurtful."  
He finally looked up at her and smiled. "It's OK. I know what you meant."  
"I am so sorry, sweetie. I…"  
"Anya, it's OK. I'll answer you. You just caught me off guard. I wasn't aware that I was throwing off signals."

"Not so much that as the way you've been with me. You knew to make me promise to meet you. You've been careful about touching me. Hell, you were even careful not to place yourself between me and the door…yes, I noticed. So you're either the kindest, most thoughtful and considerate man in the world, or you've been through it yourself."

Brodi offered a faint smile. "And how do you know I'm not just the kindest man in the world?"  
"You know what I mean."  
Brodi laughed. "Yes, I do." Then he took a more serious tone. "I was 19, about two months from turning 20. End of school-year party. Hanging out on the beach, surfing, swimming, live bands. Loads of fun. Until a girl who was upset that I'd turned her down told her boyfriend that I'd macked on her. I left my drink on my beach towel while I went to catch a quick wave. Drink gets spiked, I spend the next day or so alternating between being a punching bag and a boy toy."

Anya gasped.  
"My God, sweetheart….how did you get away?"  
Brodi shrugged. "They drugged and overpowered me. Didn't mean they were smart. They left me alone a bit too long while they went to the next party. I got out and called a friend to take me to the hospital."  
"So what happened?"  
"Nothing really. Told the hospital I'd been mugged. No one questioned it. I didn't say anything about sexual assault. To anyone. Not even the friend who took me to the hospital. In fact, you're only the second person I've ever told."  
"In ten years?"  
"In ten years. My own mother doesn't know."  
Anya said nothing for a moment, but leaned her head on Brodi's shoulder. When the silence finally became too much, she said merely, "How have you coped?"  
"At first? Lots of working out—still my favorite release. Well, one of them, anyway. When school started up again, I threw myself into my studies. Yoga helped me get re-acquainted with my body, as did lots of meditation." There was more silence, then, "You have to find your groove, what works for you, babe. I can help you or give you suggestions, but I can't tell you what will work for you."  
Anya stood and walked over to the window, hugging herself as she leaned her forehad against the cool glass. "I don't want to re-acquaint myself with my body. It hurts. Too much."  
She heard Brodi get up, felt up come up close behind her. He hesitated a moment, then gently rested his hands on her shoulders. "It takes time," he whispered. "It just takes time."

She choked back a sob, but it came full force. Brodi wrapped his arms around her as she started sinking to the floor. She was shaking uncontrollably as he picked her up and sat down on the bed with her. He neither chastised nor criticized her, but held her like a child and rocked her back and forth as she continued to be racked with sobs.  
"Let it out." He was saying. "Just let it out."  
And let it out she did. She cried a river of tears that she had been holding back for what felt like centuries. When she was finally empty of tears, she fell into a deep sleep


End file.
